


The Wandering Hand

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MWPP era - Sirius needs Remus to pretend to be his boyfriend</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wandering Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Professor Brimfeld, the Potions Master, gestured to the large pile of scrolls collected before him. 

"This," he said, with a disgusted flick of his hand, "Is an utter disgrace. I am sickened that by sixth year - SIXTH YEAR - that's six years worth of study on Potions, only one of my students can tell me the four ways in which Witch Hazel can react with Dragon's Bile." 

Sirius nudged James and cocked his head towards a very smug looking Severus Snape. 

"In fact," continued Professor Brimfeld, "That particular student was the only individual able to achieve a score of one hundred percent. As you may well have been able to deduce by now, he is the only student not currently facing a failing mark in Potions. Severus Snape!" 

Snape simpered and held his chin higher. Bellatrix Black simply brimmed with Slytherin pride. Sirius made a loud gagging noise. 

Brimfeld pulled a thick scroll from out of his blue robes, unrolled it, and brandished it for the class to see, "Mr Snape is a cut above the lot of you miserable louts. For his exceptional performance in this examination, I am awarding Slytherin fifty points." 

The Slytherin students burst into raptures, and the Gryffindor students on the other side of the dungeon groaned. Sirius grabbed himself firmly by the neck and feigned his own death by choking on effusions of vomit. Snape glared piercingly at him. 

Brimfeld slammed his hand against his desk so hard that several scrolls rolled off it, "The four ways in which Witch Hazel can react with Dragon's Bile," he barked over the din, which dispersed immediately, "Are as follows..." 

Brimfeld collected the scrolls that had fallen to the floor and began to stalk down the middle of the classroom handing them back to the hapless candidates, "One! Superheated Dragon's Bile, kept at high pressure, will physically meld with the Witch Hazel, creating a fine colloid..." 

At the back of the classroom, Sirius flicked his hair imperiously from his eyes and flashed his perfect, pearly teeth. "Snape may have been the only one to get one hundred percent," he commented haughtily, "but I'm sure I managed to get at least ninety eight. After all, Potions is   
for complete dunderheads. No wonder Snape did so well in it." 

"I don't know..." said Peter nervously, "Some of that stuff's pretty difficult -" 

"Oh, Merlin," Remus rolled his eyes, "Peter, it's about time you tried to open a book for once." 

"I do," sniffled Peter, watching with watery eyes as Brimfeld approached their back-row vantage, "It's just that everything seems to go wrong anyway and..." 

Peter trailed off, as all attention was now on Sirius, who was scrunching up small pieces of parchment, threading them into a Potions funnel and sending them flying like darts into Snape's hair. After aout the third projectile, Snape noticed and set a toppling hex on Sirius' cauldron. The cauldron clattered to the floor noisily, and Sirius immediately bent to retrieve it, whipping his wand from his pocket and meaning to send a shoelace-tying hex between Snape's shoes, but instead coming face to face with the shinning, perfectly sensible shoes of Professor Brimfeld. 

"Mr Black," came the crisp, unimpressed voice from above his head, "am I to assume that you have your wand out in order to burn this appalling attempt at Potions theory?" 

A rumpled scroll was tossed with hostility into Sirius cauldron. 

"Sixty five percent, Mr Black," continued Brimfeld, who had not called out anyone else's score apart from Snape's, "Is a terrifying thought, when Professor McGonagall seems to think you the shining hope of Gryffindor." 

Brimfeld handed scrolls to James, Remus and Peter, loudly declaring, "Sixty three, Potter. Lupin," the man simply nodded, as Remus hadn't done so badly as the others, "And Pettigrew. Laughable. Thirty one percent, and a complete and utter failure." 

James' mouth was set in a tight line, and Peter's hands were shaking as though he was about to have one of his turns. He whimpered as Snape and Bellatrix fell over themselves in silent convulsions of laughter. 

When Brimfeld had returned to the front of the class, Snape leaned over and whispered with a gleam in his eye, "So Potions is for dunderheads, is it Black? Wonder what the hell that makes you, then? And particularly your unfortunate little friend, Pettigrew. Shame that; how so much stupid could be concentrated in just one person." 

"Shut it, Snape," barked James, waving his wand threateningly. 

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" queried Snape in a most unconcerned voice, an amused Malfoy-like smirk playing about his pale mouth, "Poison me with one of the potions you'll be able to create with your extensive knowledge of the subject?" 

Bellatrix leaned her head on Snape's shoulder, shuddering with hysteria, wiping her eyes on the material of his robes. James had his wand raised to hex Snape, and Remus was just leaning over to prevent disaster, when the bell sounded, and Brimfeld called, "Class dismissed!" 

In the flurry of activity that followed, wherein students collected their books, bags and cauldrons and made for the door, no one saw James' foot until it was quite irrevocably on a collision course with the toe of Snape's shoe. There was a shriek and a clatter as Snape's books went flying, and a very short moment later Snape found himself landing sharply on his knees with his head most unfortunately in Sirius' lap. James snorted with laughter. 

"Hello, sailor," Sirius cocked an eyebrow and leered at Snape, who tried unsuccessfully to drag himself from the ground, wincing in pain. 

"Why, Snape," James said loudly, "I would never have picked you for a queer. All that mincing about, that extra-close relationship with Malfoy - nope, I definitely never would have picked it." 

"Get fucked, Potter," Snape swore, rubbing his wrist and glaring upwards, "You'll pay for that." 

"Aww...come on Snivellums," Sirius cooed, loving every minute of Snape's discomfiture, "Let me help a little diddums to his feet." 

"I'm perfectly capable-" Snape began, but found himself wrenched unceremoniously upwards, with a firm grip on his shoulder and a firm hand on his arse. "Get your bloody hands off my arse, Black!" Snape cried, jumping away from Black, tripping over his previously lost cauldron, and meeting with the floor once again. 

Sirius looked with shock from Snape, to the hand that had met with his arse and back again. James was goggling at Sirius with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. 

"Fuck!" Snape exclaimed, holding the wrist that had been hurt on his last journey to the floor. Sirius, his face completely deadpan, reached forward without thinking and dragged Snape from the floor once more. 

"You touched my arse again, Black!" yelled Snape, and this time, Snape's girlfriend - a tall, pale girl by the name of Wilkes - who had appeared at the scene at last, stood forward with a fist raised at Sirius. 

"You touched his arse," she hissed, with eyes narrowed, "No one touches Snape's arse but me." 

"I-I...didn't mean to..." Sirius tried, stumbling backwards, tripping slightly over his own feet. 

"Gah!" Snape sneered, brushing desperately at the seat of his pants, "I'll never be clean again." 

"That does it," Wilkes reached forward a surprisingly strong hand for the thin, gaunt arm it was attached to, and took the front of Sirius' robes in one balled fist, "You touch Snape again and I'll have you. I mean it. I'll have your bloody hide." 

Sirius, along with most of the class who had witnessed the exchange and had, indeed, seen Sirius feel Snape's arse twice, goggled at her, dumbfounded. "Bah..." was all he could manage. 

"Right, what's that supposed to mean, Black?" Wilkes hissed, bringing their faces very close, "Keep your hands to yourself." 

And, as though she had been born to do it, took Sirius to the floor with a fantastic right hook. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

"I mean, you know, it's not like it changes anything, mate," James said practically, dabbing at Sirius' black eye with a rag from bowl of salve that had been carefully prepared by Remus, "I mean, I always suspected you were a shirt-lifter...but, you know... shit...I mean, Snape?" 

"Don't give me that, you never suspected I was a shirt-lifter," Sirius grumbled, "Neither did I, for that matter." 

"Oh come on," James scoffed, rinsing his rag in the purple salve, "All that glittery make-up and all those Bowie albums." 

"But that doesn't mean anything-" Sirius insisted, but was cut off by Remus. 

"The T-Rex shrine. And those little PVC skirts you've been wearing about when you listen to your Gary Glitter albums," Remus always got straight to the point, "and when you mime the lyrics, you refuse to answer to anything other than `The Fabulous Miss Tina Sparkle'." 

"But that's just-" Sirius tried to interject. 

"AND," James spoke loudly over him, "There's the Valentine's Day card you sent to Brian Slade, which, I might add, you kissed with Lily's red lipstick and sprayed with perfume." 

"Mmm..." Peter agreed from the corner, looking up from his Muggle Studies book with a mouthful of liquorice, "And there was the time that I caught you snogging with Jonathan Mayer last Hallowe'en ball behind the curtains." 

Sirius went absolutely crimson and spluttered, "Why didn't you say anything, Peter? I mean...not that... not that anything happened...but, you know...if it had..." 

Peter shrugged, "I have my secrets." 

"That's not the problem, anyway," Remus put in matter-of-factly, "the problem is that you felt Snape's arse. Twice." 

Sirius groaned, his head falling into his hands heavily. 

"You were like a brother to me, Black," James put in, holding his hands over his heart, "I thought we understood each other. But then you go and do a thing like fancy Snape..." 

"I do not fancy Snivellus Snape!" Sirius cried, clutching at the air desperately, "I just....I mean... I'm sixteen, I'm randy... No!...I mean, it was an accident, you're all imagining things..." 

"I clearly saw your hand meet with Snape's arse, Padfoot," Remus laid   
the facts bare, "along with half the Potions class." 

"I can see it all now," said James dramatically, "When you announce your engagement. The wedding. Ahh...the beautiful pink rose bouquet you'll be holding as you walk up the aisle. But will you be wearing white, Mrs. Snape?" 

"Shut it, Potter," Sirius snarled, throwing a worn, red cushion at James' head from the sofa on which he was seated. 

"Oh, you'll have a wonderful life together, brewing the choicest potions," James warbled on, "But I'm terribly afraid that you're children are going to be unquestionably foul. Ugly as sin, to be exact." 

"I said shut it, Prongs," Sirius got to his feet, charging at James in order to wrestle him to the floor. But James was too fast, and skipped just out of reach as Sirius' hands grabbed at him. 

"Ella-May, Mary-Sue and little Snivellus Junior will look so lovely all lined up with Mother Sirius Snape to look after them," James laughed, leaping around the Gryffindor common-room, sailing over people and homework and furniture as he went. 

"That does it, Potter," Sirius yelled, "You're for it now." 

Before James could get another word out, antagonising or otherwise, Sirius has produced his wand. 

"Magentus!" Sirius cried with relish, sending a beam of bright, gleaming magenta towards James' head. 

James never even saw it coming. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

"You're a prick, a real prick," James muttered to Sirius, trying desperately to pull the dark-blue beanie down over his shocking-pink hair, "I mean, it's messy at the best of times. Bloody hideous; can't get the stuff to sit down. And then you - YOU - have to go and turn it pink." 

"It's actually a fetching shade of cerise, I think you'll find," crowed Sirius, tugging the beanie out of James' hands and exposing the ridiculous hair to a group of third year Hufflepuff girls. 

"Oh, I see," James said hotly, snatching his hat back and frowning at the giggles his hair produced, "So the same shade of pink knickers you wear in order to seduce Snivellus, then." 

"I told you.... I thought we agreed last night," Sirius whispered feverishly, not wanting anyone else in the corridor to hear the exchange, "It was an accident. A mistake. That's all!" 

"About as accidental as the sorting hat putting Snape in Slytherin," James scoffed, "I hate this hair! Standing up, pink, Merlin...Lily's never going to go for a guy with this hair. It's ludicrous! I'm doomed." 

"Would you stop moaning about your hair," Sirius sighed, "Honestly. Anyone would think that I'd severed your leg and attached a packet of oatmeal there instead, for all the fuss you're making." 

"You may as well have for all the attention I'm getting," James shot back, blushing deeply as Lily Evans and her usual group of inter-house friends rounded the corner chatting animatedly. "Mrs. Snape," James couldn't resist adding. 

"Right, Potter," Sirius said crossly, reaching over James' head and plucking the beanie from his skull, casting it far across the hallway. "Evans," Sirius bellowed in Lily's general direction, "Potter wants to know if you like his hair?" 

There ensued a chorus of giggles from the band of people surrounding Lily Evans, and James Potter's temper flared like never before. At that inopportune moment, as luck would have it, Severus Snape himself came gliding around the corner on the way to his next class. With Sirius by his side, Snape mere feet away from him and a broom closet most conveniently located to his left, James had devised a half-baked scheme within milliseconds. 

"If that's how you want to play it, Black," James said with his trademark debonair grin, "Then that's the way we'll play it." 

In one swift movement, James had Sirius by the upper arm and the heavy door to the broom closet open. Before Sirius could find the words to protest, he was flung haphazardly into the closet; an extremely surprised Severus Snape followed him just seconds later, and the door   
to the closet was slammed shut with a doom-laden clang. 

James stood back with a satisfied look on his face, and clapped his hands together merrily. The traffic filtering through the hallway had come to a standstill as people stopped completely to watch the latest episode of the Potter/Snape enmity transpire. 

"What did you do that for, James?" Remus asked, giving the closed closet door a fretful glance. 

"So that I could do this," James explained, and with that, he pulled his wand from his sleeve, pointed it to the door, and said clearly, "Sonorus!" 

Filtering into the hall, as though amplified by a megaphone, was the easily discernible voice of Severus Snape. 

"What the hell is going on here?" Snape said angrily, "Where are I? Who's in here?" 

"Help!" called Sirius, "James, you bastard!" 

"Black!" the voice was obviously disgusted, "where have you taken me?" 

"I haven't taken you anywhere," Sirius positively shrieked, "I was forced in here, too, you know. Where are we?" 

"There's no room in here," Snape grunted. 

"I'm getting claustrophobic," Sirius said anxiously. 

"Shut up, you idiot," Snape sneered, "You're not helping." 

There was a period of scuffling, the resonant bang of elbows meeting with walls, and the distinct clatter of several mops meeting with hard stone floors. James had to grasp at Remus' shoulder to remain standing, his knees weak with laugher. 

"If you'd just...stop...moving," Sirius ground out, "There might be more room, and perhaps we could think of a way out..." 

"What's that?!" Snape's voice was tense. 

"What?" 

"That...there's something on my...BLACK!" Snape's roar echoed down the   
hallway, "Get your HAND OFF MY ARSE!" 

"I wasn't touching your arse, you fool," Sirius insisted. 

More scuffling, this time punctuated with several grunts of effort. 

"Get your hands...off me," Snape gasped out, clearly in the middle of some sort of skirmish. 

"They're not on you," Sirius insisted angrily. 

"You just did it again!" Snape's voice was thick with incredulity, "I can't believe this!" 

"What's going on here?" that wasn't Sirius or Snape. In fact, the voice wasn't male at all. James, Remus and Peter turned around to see the hard face, lined with anger, of Snape's girlfriend Wilkes rounding the corner. 

"I...er..."James began, eyeing the hand that Wilkes had used to attack Sirius with the previous day. 

"Your hand is still on my arse, Black," Snape's voice was actually becoming resigned. 

"He's in there?" Wilkes demanded of a nearby student, gesturing to the broom closet. The student nodded, eyes wide with fear. 

Wilkes marched forward, raised her wand and cast a very stern, "Alohamora!" 

The door fell open to reveal a pair of flustered looking teenagers, caught mid-fight with their legs trapped in a labyrinth of broom handles and mop buckets. Sirius' hand was dangerously close to Snape's behind. Wilkes surveyed the scene for a moment or two. 

"I thought I told you to keep your hands off Snape," Wilkes yelled, rearing back and blackening Sirius's other eye with a practiced left hook. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~ 

 

"You've got to stop touching Snape's arse," Remus said, dabbing away the bruising on Sirius's eye with yet more purple salve, "That's all there is to it." 

"It's not like a I mean to touch it," Sirius insisted, hissing a little as the salve relieved the swelling, "It's just that..." 

"Like you said: You're sixteen, you're randy..." Remus listed the arguments that Sirius had supplied the previous evening. 

Sirius sighed with defeat. "How am I ever going to get everyone to believe I don't fancy Snape now?" he asked plaintively, casting large, appealing, blue eyes at Remus, "Especially Wilkes. She's going to keep decking me every time I so much as walk past Snape, after today." 

"I'd say your first step was to stop feeling his arse," Remus said, face deadpan. 

"Yes, I figured that one for myself," Sirius pursed his lips at Remus, and tugged the salve rag from the other boy's hands, "I need some sort of a foolproof plan that will turn everyone off the idea..." 

"A foolproof plan?" Remus queried with a raised eyebrow, offering Sirius the bowl of salve, "I've never known you or James to come up with one of those..." 

"Shut it, Lupin," Sirius warned, moodily dragging the sopping rag through Remus's salve. 

There was silence as the pair of them looked about the crowded Gryffindor common room, Sirius with a crease of determination on his forehead, and Remus with an amused smile playing on his lips; most of the other occupants were whispering about Severus Snape's buttocks and   
casting askance glances in their direction. 

"I've got it!" Sirius exclaimed loudly and suddenly, "I know what I'm going to do!" 

"What?" Remus, along with a goodly proportion of the other Gryffindors, had given Sirius his full attention. 

"I've got to be seen with someone else," Sirius was grinning his head off as though he's solved the problem of world hunger, "I've got to look *really* in love. Then everyone will see the folly of their ideas about Snape and think themselves extremely stupid for even toying with the notion of my liking Snape." 

"Ahhh... simple as that, then," Remus cocked his head to one side. 

"Yes...now...to find someone to help me," Sirius was staring intently at Remus. He licked his lips. 

"Er..." Remus choked, eyes going wide like a deer caught in headlights. 

"Perfect," Sirius said, a grin slowly spreading across his lips. Carefully, never taking his eyes off Remus, he began to move his away across the sofa toward the other boy; supine, liquid movement, long limbs smooth like a spider's, moving in like a predator. 

"Er...but...Sirius, you don't like me," Remus found himself backing away as Sirius was inching closer. 

"What are you talking about? You're lovely," Sirius's hand found Remus' thigh, and he pulled himself forward. 

"Maybe you should try someone else...ummm..." Remus found himself hard up against the arm of the sofa, trapped as Sirius gradually leaned across, closer and closer to his face. 

"I've already asked everyone else," Sirius murmured, his eyes glittering strangely. 

"You haven't asked anyone but me! Just now!" sqwuaked Remus. 

"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius leered, "I've asked everyone else. I need your help." 

"You haven't asked me, Sirius," put in a blonde fifth year girl, who sat nearby watching the exchange. She fluffed her hair and tried to look like a Nordic goddess. 

"Yes, see... you didn't ask her," Remus gulped, Sirius' lithe body stretching over his own, the heat from the other boy filtering through his clothing. 

"Umm... yes I did," Sirius moved his head so that it blocked Remus' view of the girl, "She said no." 

"No I didn't," insisted the girl hopefully. 

"Yes you did," assured Sirius, eyeing Remus like he was something to eat. 

"Ergh..." Remus managed, finally finding himself pinned bodily upon the couch by Sirius' weight, "I don't have much of a choice in this, do I?" 

"No," Sirius said, and then bit his ear. Remus squirmed against him. 

"Right," was all Remus was able to get out, before Sirius snogged him senseless. 

 

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~ 

 

"Oh Merlin," Remus broke away from Sirius, panting heavily, "Do you really think we need to be doing this now?" 

"Yep," Sirius pushed Remus harder against the wall they were using for support, "We definitely need to keep up the ruse so that James doesn't suspect that anything's up." 

Sirius silenced Remus with a few more minutes of kissing. 

However, again, Remus broke away, panting once more, "But... Sirius, we're behind the Quidditch supplies shed. No one's anywhere around to see us." 

"Just in case they do," Sirius reasoned, and attacked Remus with renewed vigour. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

"Sirius," Remus wriggled against the very warm body pressing into his, "Remind me why we're doing this now?" 

"James is nearby," Sirius bit a line down Remus' long, pale neck. 

"Yes, but..." Remus stopped, whimpering as Sirius took a piece of sensitive flesh between his lips and suckled at it. 

"...But nothing..."Sirius tried to unfasten the top buttons on Remus' pyjamas. 

"....But, he's been snoring for the past two hours, and you put up a silencing charm on my bed and I don't see how he could-" Remus was cut off by a hot, wet, soft mouth against his own. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~ 

 

"Sirius, you've got your hand on my arse," Remus pointed out. 

"I know," was the pokerfaced reply. 

"So...there're people looking," Remus gave Sirius a chastising look. 

"Well...far as I see it, your buttock is where my hand wants to be," Sirius said lightly, "Why should I move my hand, when you can just as well move your buttock if you don't want me to touch it?" 

"I see your point," Remus replied, not moving anywhere. 

 

~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

"Moony," Sirius broke away panting, cheeks flushed, hair in complete disarray. 

"Yes?" Remus replied, not removing his attentions from nibbling at Sirius's lower lip. 

"Do you think we should be doing this in the hallway? I mean, it is kind of public..." for his efforts, Sirius was pinned bodily to the wall and kissed quite thoroughly. 

"Merlin," a dark, drawling voice sounded from nearby them, " I see Sirius finally found himself something to maul, other than myself." 

"Fuck off, Snape," Sirius growled, pulling Remus against himself with an arm slung around the other boy's thin waist. 

"Tell me, Remus," Snape kept on, "Aren't you jealous that your boyfriend will always find me irresistible?" 

"I shouldn't think so," James Potter had walked up, entirely unnoticed, behind Snape. "You see, they're pretty close, these two. Plus, I don't really know what all the fuss was about in the first place. I mean, come on. It's you, Snivellus." 

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Snape questioned imperiously, lifting his chin with an air of superiority. 

"It's supposed to mean that you're really nothing special," James replied matter-of-factly. On impulse, moving like a snake striking, James shot one hand forward and pinched Snape's arse. "Nope," was his earnest verdict, "Nothing all that special." 

Before James knew what was happening, he felt a wand-tip at his throat. 

"I though," came a venomous hiss in his ear, "I told you bastards to keep your hands off my boyfriend." 

"Wilkes," James swallowed, remembering Sirius's throbbing black eyes, "I...er...didn't mean..." 

Wilkes, opting for the violence now, chit-chat later option, threw a fantastic swing at James. 

"Oi, Wilkes," Lily Evans stood close behind the angry, thin, over-protective girl, "What makes you think you've got the right to go about throwing punches at the Gryffindors?" 

"I would have thought that was obvious, Evans," Wilkes snarled, balling her fists up before herself in a highly aggressive gesture. 

"What's obvious," Lily shot back, "Is that you need a taste of your own medicine." 

And without leaving Wilkes a second to defend herself, Lily struck the other girl soundly about the jaw. 

"Bitch!" came a scream from nearby, and all of a sudden Bellatrix Black was flying through the air like a missile, landing on Lily's back, "I'll teach you what happens when you try beating up my best friend." 

Bellatrix took Lily's hair in two tight fists and pulled with all her might. 

"Snape, you arse," James cried from the floor, "Call off your Slytherin Harpies, it's two to one, that's not fair!" 

"Who said anything about fair?" Snape smiled, lust dancing in his eyes as he watched Wilkes biting Lily's forearm. Preoccupied as he was, he didn't see James' fist before he'd taken the full brunt of it on the side of his chin. 

"What's all this?" Lestrange, a very stocky Slytherin boy, appeared at the doorway, "Snape!" 

Lestrange threw himself sideways into the brawl, attacking James Potter, but was joined almost instantly by Pettigrew, who tackled him to the ground. Several passing Slytherin girls joined, another few Gryffindor girls ran to Lily's aid, and an older Slytherin boy, whose name no one knew, ran in with his fists poised for action... 

And with that, it was on for young and old. 

"Right," Sirius said, watching the all out skirmish before him, "Never thought I'd see that." 

"No," Remus concurred. 

There was a pause. Finally, Sirius ventured, "You don't think we should help do you?" 

"Well," Remus surveyed the fist fight with mild interest, "We can either join in the fight, or...seeing as...James, Peter...yes, and a few others...are fighting, we'll have the dormitory to ourselves." 

"I see your point," Sirius nodded, "To the dormitory it is, then."


End file.
